You know the saying that goes something like, "If you love someone you should let them go"? Well, that should be amended to say, "If you love someone you should let them go at least once a week."
Here's my story:
I love being a mom, but the last few weeks I have been feeling a little bit funny. Let's be honest, by 'a little bit funny' I mean a little bit down. Finally, I had a teary breakdown. My husband decided (with love in his heart) that I needed to get away for an afternoon. This made me cry more. My husband said to me, "Are you sad that you are leaving her or sad that you WANT to leave her?" When I nodded to the second through my sobbing he replied, "Good." And it hit me. Of course it is good!! It is absolutely crazy to want to be with anyone (even a perfect, little babe) ALL THE TIME.
The danger of motherhood, is that you ARE. With someone all the time that is. At least for the beginning. And that is a lot. The true danger I would say though, is that you can very easily feel as though you should want this, and if you don't you might feel guilty. Well, I am here to tell you, from one primary caregiver to another, that getting outta dodge is AMAZING. One movie and a little shopping later I felt rejuvenated. This made me realize that getting away from being a mom is a crucial part of being a good mom. Bu-ya (or however you spell that). There it is.
Tuesday 27 November 2012
Christmas Memories
Although I have many, I am only going to share two. One is a real favourite memory, and one is just something that happened, twice. See if you can guess which!
1. Once, I mean twice, my dad decided that Christmas Eve was the best time to shovel the snow off the roof. And twice he fell off. Luckily one year my grandma was visiting, so he was able to use her cane.
2. One Christmas, in order to save some money, my mom decided to use the artificial tree that we had gotten from my Grandma when she moved into an apartment. My brother and I were home from university visiting in order to help decorate. When we set up the tree we realized it was ridiculously small. So, when my mom left to go to work for the evening my brother and I went and bought a real GIGANTIC tree. We set it up and decorated it. When my mom came home she cried.
What is Christmas without a few tears of joy?
1. Once, I mean twice, my dad decided that Christmas Eve was the best time to shovel the snow off the roof. And twice he fell off. Luckily one year my grandma was visiting, so he was able to use her cane.
2. One Christmas, in order to save some money, my mom decided to use the artificial tree that we had gotten from my Grandma when she moved into an apartment. My brother and I were home from university visiting in order to help decorate. When we set up the tree we realized it was ridiculously small. So, when my mom left to go to work for the evening my brother and I went and bought a real GIGANTIC tree. We set it up and decorated it. When my mom came home she cried.
What is Christmas without a few tears of joy?
Joy to the World
Here is my Letterman like top ten list for why I am feeling extra Joyful this holiday season:
10. I am not working.
9. It has already snowed quite a bit.
8. My Christmas dessert plans have grown from the pie to... drum roll... the pie, a gingerbread cake with dolce de leche icing, and Bailey's mousse. For those of you who know me, you know that I spend much of my day thinking about food, and so to have three super yummy desserts is making me super joyful!
7. Making lists of the presents I plan to buy people over and over and over again. Boy, I love making lists!
6. TV show Christmas episodes!! I LOVE THEM. So far I have watched the Christmas episodes from Felicity seasons one and two.
5. I have very special (and super fun) plans for Christmas Eve.
4. I'm going to have a fireplace.
3. My brother is coming home and I am SO excited to hang out with him!!
2. My husband, with whom I love spending time, has two weeks off work. Also, he will spoil me rotten. Hurray!
1. I have a baby, and honestly, she brings more joy than I could have ever imagined.
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
10. I am not working.
9. It has already snowed quite a bit.
8. My Christmas dessert plans have grown from the pie to... drum roll... the pie, a gingerbread cake with dolce de leche icing, and Bailey's mousse. For those of you who know me, you know that I spend much of my day thinking about food, and so to have three super yummy desserts is making me super joyful!
7. Making lists of the presents I plan to buy people over and over and over again. Boy, I love making lists!
6. TV show Christmas episodes!! I LOVE THEM. So far I have watched the Christmas episodes from Felicity seasons one and two.
5. I have very special (and super fun) plans for Christmas Eve.
4. I'm going to have a fireplace.
3. My brother is coming home and I am SO excited to hang out with him!!
2. My husband, with whom I love spending time, has two weeks off work. Also, he will spoil me rotten. Hurray!
1. I have a baby, and honestly, she brings more joy than I could have ever imagined.
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
What's your crazy?
I often lament how crazy certain people in my life are. Please keep in mind that I am not exactly sure of the connotation of 'lament' and that I should probably just have said that I often THINK of how 'crazy' certain people in my life are. I'm also pretty sure I should not be ending a sentence with ARE, but I just can't seem to work around it. Lastly, I totally know that using 'crazy' as such is likely offensive to some. Please understand that I don't use it to make fun of or minimize serious mental illness.
So really, my initial sentence should have read like this:
I often think about the mild to serious psychological problems of certain people in my life.
Ok, now that we have that straight, here goes. After thinking about certain ESPECIALLY loved ones last night, I came to two realizations and two conclusions:
Realizations:
1. The first is that we are all at least a little bit crazy. At least. All I mean to say is that we all have some issues that could perhaps be diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist and would probably get better with pharmaceuticals or talk therapy. I, for example, suffer from from an irrational fear that everyone is mad at me most of the time. For example, when anyone honks, I am sure they are honking at me. I also get extremely mad (and I mean mad) when I get tailgated because I know that means that the person tailgating me is unhappy with my speed which makes me really defensive and therefore leads to anger. This, of course, creates a lot of anxiety. Duh.
2. Our parents did it to us. Sometimes directly (like by always being mad at us, for example) or indirectly (by giving us angry genes).
Conclusions:
1. Not to get Jerry Springer on you or anything, but my first conclusion is that we should take it easy on ourselves, (pause) and each other. The reality is that some of the things others do that drive us totally crazy are things that either they cannot help or that it would be VERY difficult for them to help. AND, since you have your own crazy (that, just to review, cannot be helped without a lot of work) you should give yourself a break. You deserve it
2. You're gunna make your kids crazy (it seems to be inevitable). Just try not to make them too crazy!
So really, my initial sentence should have read like this:
I often think about the mild to serious psychological problems of certain people in my life.
Ok, now that we have that straight, here goes. After thinking about certain ESPECIALLY loved ones last night, I came to two realizations and two conclusions:
Realizations:
1. The first is that we are all at least a little bit crazy. At least. All I mean to say is that we all have some issues that could perhaps be diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist and would probably get better with pharmaceuticals or talk therapy. I, for example, suffer from from an irrational fear that everyone is mad at me most of the time. For example, when anyone honks, I am sure they are honking at me. I also get extremely mad (and I mean mad) when I get tailgated because I know that means that the person tailgating me is unhappy with my speed which makes me really defensive and therefore leads to anger. This, of course, creates a lot of anxiety. Duh.
2. Our parents did it to us. Sometimes directly (like by always being mad at us, for example) or indirectly (by giving us angry genes).
Conclusions:
1. Not to get Jerry Springer on you or anything, but my first conclusion is that we should take it easy on ourselves, (pause) and each other. The reality is that some of the things others do that drive us totally crazy are things that either they cannot help or that it would be VERY difficult for them to help. AND, since you have your own crazy (that, just to review, cannot be helped without a lot of work) you should give yourself a break. You deserve it
2. You're gunna make your kids crazy (it seems to be inevitable). Just try not to make them too crazy!
Januboring and Febuworse
Short and sweet:
I love the winter because it gets me in the Christmas spirit. The problem is that most of the winter comes AFTER Christmas which leads to at least a few months of not loving the weather. For this post I am simply looking for one of two things. The first is any suggestions of how to love the first two months of the year. The second is commiseration.
Let's here it.
I love the winter because it gets me in the Christmas spirit. The problem is that most of the winter comes AFTER Christmas which leads to at least a few months of not loving the weather. For this post I am simply looking for one of two things. The first is any suggestions of how to love the first two months of the year. The second is commiseration.
Let's here it.
Friday 23 November 2012
Do it!
Please, please, PLEASE enter my contest! In fact, I insist you do!! All entries will be anonymous, and no put downs are allowed, so there is no reason not to. And frankly, it is super fun to write for an audience, so get on it!
Monday 19 November 2012
The good, the bad, and the I can't tell the difference
Before I get to the meat of things I think I should lay bare my soul.
Favourite Books: I'll Love You Forever, Possessing The Secret of Joy, the Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle, Unless, Fall On Your Knees
Favourite TV Shows: Sex and the City, Law and Order, The Wire, SYTYCD, Survivor
Favourite Albums/Artists: Anything Kellie or Melissa make me, Almost A Full Moon and any other Hawksley Workman album, Tuesday Night Music Club (Sheryl Crow), Gordon (Bare Naked Ladies), Michael Jackson, Bin Iver
*My Heart Is So Jetlegged is a song I like, but I don't know who it is by. Amanda someone with some guy band I think. (Heart heart, heart is so jetlegged. It is just plain catchy!)
Favourite Movies: The Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings the Fellowship of the Rings, Clueless, The Shawshank Redemption, Step Up 3 (and no I am not joking about that one)
So, as you can probably tell, I have some good taste and some bad taste. This I am perfectly aware of and will discuss the importance of this in a future post. But what really concerns me is that sometimes I can't tell the difference! Like, sometimes I think something is good but then find out it actually isn't. This is not the case with Monk. I'm sorry to anyone who liked it and to the writers and producers of the show (not Tony Shalhoub though because he actually did a pretty good job), but that show was awful!! Just because I watched all eight seasons doesn't mean I didn't know how awful it was.
Once after a car ride with a friend during which a City and Colour album was playing in my car I told said friend that sometimes I don't know if certain music is cool, or if in fact I should be embarrassed for listening to it. Her response? "Like Dallas Green?" Ouch. Then she added, "Or Sarah McLaughlin?" To which I wanted to respond, "Really? Sarah isn't safe? I know she isn't trendy, but I didn't know she is shameful!"
Basically, the point of this post is two fold:
1. To make you aware of the questionable taste the Treatster (another nickname) has, and
2. to...crap. I can't remember the second one. The sad thing is that I think the second one was more important and deeply poignant.
Oh well. Perhaps I will end with a question. Which of my likes from above do you think are in bad taste and why? I will respond to each comment to explain why all choices are actually awesome.
Favourite Books: I'll Love You Forever, Possessing The Secret of Joy, the Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle, Unless, Fall On Your Knees
Favourite TV Shows: Sex and the City, Law and Order, The Wire, SYTYCD, Survivor
Favourite Albums/Artists: Anything Kellie or Melissa make me, Almost A Full Moon and any other Hawksley Workman album, Tuesday Night Music Club (Sheryl Crow), Gordon (Bare Naked Ladies), Michael Jackson, Bin Iver
*My Heart Is So Jetlegged is a song I like, but I don't know who it is by. Amanda someone with some guy band I think. (Heart heart, heart is so jetlegged. It is just plain catchy!)
Favourite Movies: The Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings the Fellowship of the Rings, Clueless, The Shawshank Redemption, Step Up 3 (and no I am not joking about that one)
So, as you can probably tell, I have some good taste and some bad taste. This I am perfectly aware of and will discuss the importance of this in a future post. But what really concerns me is that sometimes I can't tell the difference! Like, sometimes I think something is good but then find out it actually isn't. This is not the case with Monk. I'm sorry to anyone who liked it and to the writers and producers of the show (not Tony Shalhoub though because he actually did a pretty good job), but that show was awful!! Just because I watched all eight seasons doesn't mean I didn't know how awful it was.
Once after a car ride with a friend during which a City and Colour album was playing in my car I told said friend that sometimes I don't know if certain music is cool, or if in fact I should be embarrassed for listening to it. Her response? "Like Dallas Green?" Ouch. Then she added, "Or Sarah McLaughlin?" To which I wanted to respond, "Really? Sarah isn't safe? I know she isn't trendy, but I didn't know she is shameful!"
Basically, the point of this post is two fold:
1. To make you aware of the questionable taste the Treatster (another nickname) has, and
2. to...crap. I can't remember the second one. The sad thing is that I think the second one was more important and deeply poignant.
Oh well. Perhaps I will end with a question. Which of my likes from above do you think are in bad taste and why? I will respond to each comment to explain why all choices are actually awesome.
Sunday 18 November 2012
First annual guest post contest
Doesn't the title say it all?
Rules:
1. Anyone who wants to can create a guest post.
2. Anyone who wants to can read them and vote on their favourite.
3. Any negative comments will be removed. We enter into this contest in the spirit of fun!!
4. The writer of the guest post that gets the most votes will win a dinner date with me, Sue Treat, unless there is someone I don't know following me and they win, in which case they will win an enthusiastic congratulations.
Good luck!! I will accept and post entries up until December 30th. Good luck!
Rules:
1. Anyone who wants to can create a guest post.
2. Anyone who wants to can read them and vote on their favourite.
3. Any negative comments will be removed. We enter into this contest in the spirit of fun!!
4. The writer of the guest post that gets the most votes will win a dinner date with me, Sue Treat, unless there is someone I don't know following me and they win, in which case they will win an enthusiastic congratulations.
Good luck!! I will accept and post entries up until December 30th. Good luck!
Ultimate Thinky Think: The Meaning of Life (Solved!)
I don't know about the rest of you, but throughout my life I have often pondered the meaning of it all. "What is the meaning of life?" is a pretty big question and one that I have always thought was impossible to answer for many reasons, the first being that depending on your personal paradigm (religion and stuff) the question itself may mean something different.
WELL, just so you know, I solved it! I know the meaning!! Please keep in mind that I experienced this existential epiphany last night in a total sleep haze so it may in fact make little to no sense. In fact, I had to spend a few minutes just trying to remember what it was. Well, here it is.
Make the best of it.
I know this may sound silly, or overly simplified, so let me take you through my thought process. I was thinking about this topic and to try to get in the right mind frame I was thinking about other pursuits and the goals that go along with them. Very quickly I realized that you cannot compare the meaning of life to the meaning of having a family, or volunteering, or your job because these things are (usually) voluntary. You CHOOSE them. None of us (according to my paradigm) chose to be here. So, this got me thinking. What is the best thing you can do when put in a situation out of your control? Make the best of it! See how that works? If you are stuck in traffic you can be really angry and feel terrible, OR you can...you got it, make the best of it!
So dear reader, goodnight (or good day), and I hope you are able to make the best of whatever life is currently throwing your way!
WELL, just so you know, I solved it! I know the meaning!! Please keep in mind that I experienced this existential epiphany last night in a total sleep haze so it may in fact make little to no sense. In fact, I had to spend a few minutes just trying to remember what it was. Well, here it is.
Make the best of it.
I know this may sound silly, or overly simplified, so let me take you through my thought process. I was thinking about this topic and to try to get in the right mind frame I was thinking about other pursuits and the goals that go along with them. Very quickly I realized that you cannot compare the meaning of life to the meaning of having a family, or volunteering, or your job because these things are (usually) voluntary. You CHOOSE them. None of us (according to my paradigm) chose to be here. So, this got me thinking. What is the best thing you can do when put in a situation out of your control? Make the best of it! See how that works? If you are stuck in traffic you can be really angry and feel terrible, OR you can...you got it, make the best of it!
So dear reader, goodnight (or good day), and I hope you are able to make the best of whatever life is currently throwing your way!
Monday 12 November 2012
Christmas Traditions
The first thing you should be asking yourself is what the heck is Susie (this is what my good friends call me) going to blog about when Christmas is over? The answer? I'm pretty sure I will be doing five posts less a week, but we'll see.
This one is short and simple. I will share with you the best five Christmas traditions from my childhood, and I am hoping that then you will share your favourite traditions with me!!
Here they are:
1. For some reason my mom never went with us to get the tree and my dad never helped decorate it. What made going to get the tree with my dad so special is that every year my mom would give him about $40 for a tree and every year he would spend $80 to $100 to get the biggest, most beautiful tree he could.
2. Every Christmas Eve we (my siblings and I) would beg and beg to open a present. Everyone year my mom would eventually give in. And every year the present she would let us open would be socks or underwear. You would think we would stop asking!!
3. When we were really little Santa would put our stocking right at the end of our beds. I would wake up numerous times in the night to see if they were there. Eventually when they were I would wake up my siblings and we would look through them together. Then, at a somewhat reasonable time (6am) we would go into my parent's room and show them everything we got in our stockings before we opened presents.
4. My family loves reading and music and every year for Christmas we would all get new tapes or CDs and books. Christmas day was spent lounging in the living room reading our new books and cycling through the music.
5. As we got older we would often get envelopes for Christmas with homemade coupons for things we had asked for like a new pair of jeans. On Boxing Day my family would pile into the car and head to Kitchener to shop for the items from the coupons and then we would see a movie.
These memories may not sound like much, but just thinking about them warms me through and through. Please (please) tell me about your favourite Christmas tradition(s)! Feliz Navidad!
This one is short and simple. I will share with you the best five Christmas traditions from my childhood, and I am hoping that then you will share your favourite traditions with me!!
Here they are:
1. For some reason my mom never went with us to get the tree and my dad never helped decorate it. What made going to get the tree with my dad so special is that every year my mom would give him about $40 for a tree and every year he would spend $80 to $100 to get the biggest, most beautiful tree he could.
2. Every Christmas Eve we (my siblings and I) would beg and beg to open a present. Everyone year my mom would eventually give in. And every year the present she would let us open would be socks or underwear. You would think we would stop asking!!
3. When we were really little Santa would put our stocking right at the end of our beds. I would wake up numerous times in the night to see if they were there. Eventually when they were I would wake up my siblings and we would look through them together. Then, at a somewhat reasonable time (6am) we would go into my parent's room and show them everything we got in our stockings before we opened presents.
4. My family loves reading and music and every year for Christmas we would all get new tapes or CDs and books. Christmas day was spent lounging in the living room reading our new books and cycling through the music.
5. As we got older we would often get envelopes for Christmas with homemade coupons for things we had asked for like a new pair of jeans. On Boxing Day my family would pile into the car and head to Kitchener to shop for the items from the coupons and then we would see a movie.
These memories may not sound like much, but just thinking about them warms me through and through. Please (please) tell me about your favourite Christmas tradition(s)! Feliz Navidad!
No, you're a boogermuncher!
Boogermuncher is the new gay, (or retard, or spaz).
Most things in life are up for argument. One thing isn't. Saying "That's so gay" equates homosexuality with the negative. Um, duh. I think I am preaching to the converted here (ok two things are not up for argument: Saying 'preaching to the converted' in a blog makes you sound 100), but here is what I think anyway:
In life we should all take the same pledge doctors do: Amicus resilidus matulra. That means 'do no harm' in spanish. I mean latin. Ok, I made it up, but I know that it is some sort of pledge for docs. Anyway, shouldn't we all live our lives like this? Let's, as a people, try to stop hurting each other. I think many people use gay (or retard) honestly thinking they are not hurting anyone. Well newsflash boogermunchers, gay people are EVERYWHERE. And if they aren't, their family, friends, or co-workers are. The point? You never know who you are hurting, and since I know you don't want to hurt anyone, just substitute boogermuncher in the place of gay or retard. Problem solved. Tell a friend.
Next stop: World hunger.
Most things in life are up for argument. One thing isn't. Saying "That's so gay" equates homosexuality with the negative. Um, duh. I think I am preaching to the converted here (ok two things are not up for argument: Saying 'preaching to the converted' in a blog makes you sound 100), but here is what I think anyway:
In life we should all take the same pledge doctors do: Amicus resilidus matulra. That means 'do no harm' in spanish. I mean latin. Ok, I made it up, but I know that it is some sort of pledge for docs. Anyway, shouldn't we all live our lives like this? Let's, as a people, try to stop hurting each other. I think many people use gay (or retard) honestly thinking they are not hurting anyone. Well newsflash boogermunchers, gay people are EVERYWHERE. And if they aren't, their family, friends, or co-workers are. The point? You never know who you are hurting, and since I know you don't want to hurt anyone, just substitute boogermuncher in the place of gay or retard. Problem solved. Tell a friend.
Next stop: World hunger.
Tuesday 6 November 2012
My Christmas Favs/Dear Mom
For me, picking a favourite Christmas song is like trying to pick a favourite chocolate bar. The fav chocolate bar situation goes something like this:
Hey Sue, what is your favourite chocolate bar?
Um, well, Mr. Big, Crunchie, Crispy Crunch, Mars, Snickers, Twix, oh and I really like M&Ms, Sweet Marie and Mint Aero and Mirage...oh and I ALSO love Junior Mints and Whoppers. (The list really could continue.)
So, my favourite Christmas songs are "Drummer Boy," (there is a great version of this song originally done by Frank Sinatra and David Bowie and it was recently redone by Matt Dusk and Hawksley Workman -- you should check it out), "I Saw Three Ships ," "It's Cold Outside," "Jingle Bells," "Do You Hear What I Hear," "O Holy Night," and "Silent Night." But as much as I love all of those, every song from the album Almost a Full Moon by Hawksley Workman is above and beyond them all. I won't touch on that now though because I will be dedicating an entire post to the album later on.
My favourite Christmas movies are The Grinch, Love Actually, and the Muppet Christmas Movie
(Does everyone appreciate how I am moving seamlessly between APA and MLA formatting?)
(Also, I really think everyone should take some time and listen to the Reality Bites soundtrack this weekend and then tell me your favourite song.)
When I tried to think of my favourite Christmas presents, I had a really hard time. I love Christmas, and I LOVE presents, so why was it so hard to think of them? Well, I realized that it is because every single Christmas I have gotten many extremely thoughtful presents. In short, I have been totally spoiled. For my entire life my mom made sure, no matter what, that Christmas was a very special time, and now I have a husband who does the same. So, I will give you a list of some of my favourite presents I have gotten over the years: R.L. Stine books, Christopher Pike books, pink glittery sweater, Ravensburger puzzles, Little Miss Make-Up, a duvet. I also have to give a little shout out to my sister here because she often gives me super great childhood throw back gifts (like Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and numerous L.J. Smith novels).
So, thinking about how much I love Christmas and WHY I love Christmas made me think of two things:
1. The reason Christmas is such a special time for me is because my mom made sure it would be. She made is a magical time. And now even though she is gone (chances are since only my lovelies read this you already know, but just in case I have a mystery reader, my mom died some years ago) I have so many other loved ones with whom to share the holidays. If it wasn't for my mom I KNOW I wouldn't feel the same way about Christmas, and if it wasn't for YOU I know since her death that Christmas would be ruined.
2. Maybe this is presumptuous, but I think perhaps those people who do not love Christmas feel like that because there was no one in their lives who could bring them (or teach them) the joy of Christmas. For these people, I am sorry that a time that brings others so much joy is perhaps at best an irritant and at worst a painful time. Man am I lucky to have the mom I did.
CHRISTMAS UPDATE:
I have already made, decorated, and eaten one Rice Crispies Christmas house
AND
Christmas music has been blaring in my house and car since November 1st (although only two CDs because I cannot yet find the others)
AND
I pulled out my first Christmas puzzle to work on with big plans to start sorting out the edge pieces tomorrow
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Why does this post have 'Dear Mom' in the title? I'll tell you why. I am not one for regrets, but one thing that has really saddened me lately is that I cannot thank my mom for all she did to make Christmas such an amazing time. I cannot tell her about all the traditions I love that I plan to carry on with my own daughter. (In case you don't know or couldn't figure it out, my mom is dead.) Just to clarify, from the end of August until probably December 28th or so (that is four months, which is one third of the year in case you wondered) I feel the Christmas spirit coursing through my body. What is the Christmas spirit you may ask? It is a feeling of joy, hope, promise, selflessness, and love. And I get to feel like this, one of the greatest feelings there is, thanks to my mom. So, I highly encourage you, in fact I insist, that you take a second (or an hour) and think about the amazing things your mom (or mom like person--even a dad or grandparent will do) does for you and then write her (if you are lucky enough to have this person still in your life) and say thanks -- hence the 'Dear Mom' part. I know this might be a bit cliche, but honestly, you should do it. Dead people can't read. No matter how much you wish they could, they just can't.
Joy to the world, 49 sleeps 'til Christmas.
Hey Sue, what is your favourite chocolate bar?
Um, well, Mr. Big, Crunchie, Crispy Crunch, Mars, Snickers, Twix, oh and I really like M&Ms, Sweet Marie and Mint Aero and Mirage...oh and I ALSO love Junior Mints and Whoppers. (The list really could continue.)
So, my favourite Christmas songs are "Drummer Boy," (there is a great version of this song originally done by Frank Sinatra and David Bowie and it was recently redone by Matt Dusk and Hawksley Workman -- you should check it out), "I Saw Three Ships ," "It's Cold Outside," "Jingle Bells," "Do You Hear What I Hear," "O Holy Night," and "Silent Night." But as much as I love all of those, every song from the album Almost a Full Moon by Hawksley Workman is above and beyond them all. I won't touch on that now though because I will be dedicating an entire post to the album later on.
My favourite Christmas movies are The Grinch, Love Actually, and the Muppet Christmas Movie
(Does everyone appreciate how I am moving seamlessly between APA and MLA formatting?)
(Also, I really think everyone should take some time and listen to the Reality Bites soundtrack this weekend and then tell me your favourite song.)
When I tried to think of my favourite Christmas presents, I had a really hard time. I love Christmas, and I LOVE presents, so why was it so hard to think of them? Well, I realized that it is because every single Christmas I have gotten many extremely thoughtful presents. In short, I have been totally spoiled. For my entire life my mom made sure, no matter what, that Christmas was a very special time, and now I have a husband who does the same. So, I will give you a list of some of my favourite presents I have gotten over the years: R.L. Stine books, Christopher Pike books, pink glittery sweater, Ravensburger puzzles, Little Miss Make-Up, a duvet. I also have to give a little shout out to my sister here because she often gives me super great childhood throw back gifts (like Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and numerous L.J. Smith novels).
So, thinking about how much I love Christmas and WHY I love Christmas made me think of two things:
1. The reason Christmas is such a special time for me is because my mom made sure it would be. She made is a magical time. And now even though she is gone (chances are since only my lovelies read this you already know, but just in case I have a mystery reader, my mom died some years ago) I have so many other loved ones with whom to share the holidays. If it wasn't for my mom I KNOW I wouldn't feel the same way about Christmas, and if it wasn't for YOU I know since her death that Christmas would be ruined.
2. Maybe this is presumptuous, but I think perhaps those people who do not love Christmas feel like that because there was no one in their lives who could bring them (or teach them) the joy of Christmas. For these people, I am sorry that a time that brings others so much joy is perhaps at best an irritant and at worst a painful time. Man am I lucky to have the mom I did.
CHRISTMAS UPDATE:
I have already made, decorated, and eaten one Rice Crispies Christmas house
AND
Christmas music has been blaring in my house and car since November 1st (although only two CDs because I cannot yet find the others)
AND
I pulled out my first Christmas puzzle to work on with big plans to start sorting out the edge pieces tomorrow
Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Why does this post have 'Dear Mom' in the title? I'll tell you why. I am not one for regrets, but one thing that has really saddened me lately is that I cannot thank my mom for all she did to make Christmas such an amazing time. I cannot tell her about all the traditions I love that I plan to carry on with my own daughter. (In case you don't know or couldn't figure it out, my mom is dead.) Just to clarify, from the end of August until probably December 28th or so (that is four months, which is one third of the year in case you wondered) I feel the Christmas spirit coursing through my body. What is the Christmas spirit you may ask? It is a feeling of joy, hope, promise, selflessness, and love. And I get to feel like this, one of the greatest feelings there is, thanks to my mom. So, I highly encourage you, in fact I insist, that you take a second (or an hour) and think about the amazing things your mom (or mom like person--even a dad or grandparent will do) does for you and then write her (if you are lucky enough to have this person still in your life) and say thanks -- hence the 'Dear Mom' part. I know this might be a bit cliche, but honestly, you should do it. Dead people can't read. No matter how much you wish they could, they just can't.
Joy to the world, 49 sleeps 'til Christmas.
Be a good Canadian. Volunteer?
As I was reading that Discover Canada pamphlet online for the post about culture, I came across something that surprised me. Under the section called Responsibilities, it had a subheading called 'Helping others in the community,' which talked about how many Canadians volunteer in some capacity or another, and how this is an important part of being Canadian. This got me thinking about the good intentions I have that usually amount to nothing. Other than my feeling that a responsibility to volunteer might well be an oxymoron, I do really like this idea. I mean, don't you think that this is a great Canadian cultural value? Helping others? Well, I sure do. The problem for many of us is that it can be difficult to find the time. I was going to say that I wish they had included the option of making donations as another way of 'helping others in the community' but then stopped myself because they are very different things. One is time costly, and the other is pocket book costly. It made me start to wonder about the importance of getting ones' hands dirty so to speak. So dear reader, what do you think? Is volunteering more important or valuable than monetary donations? Love to hear what you think.
In the mean time I must say that I am feeling pretty darn good about myself because I have made contact with a women's shelter in my town and have found some simple ways to help out. I haven't even done anything yet but still feel pretty amazing! Second question: why does helping others just feel so darn good? Let's hear your thoughts faithful reader!
In the mean time I must say that I am feeling pretty darn good about myself because I have made contact with a women's shelter in my town and have found some simple ways to help out. I haven't even done anything yet but still feel pretty amazing! Second question: why does helping others just feel so darn good? Let's hear your thoughts faithful reader!
Sunday 4 November 2012
Peace, love, and drawing the line PART 2
One of the things that got me thinking about this subject was an episode of Ideas I listened to early last week. Although I claimed to be up on current events in my first posting, I have to admit that the episode was from 2010. Anyway, the episode was from a series about being Canadian and this specific episode was about immigration. What caught my attention was the following excerpt from Discover Canada: The rights and responsibilities of citizenship, an immigration handbook published by the federal government: (Is this the appropriate use of a colon? Can someone tell me?)
In Canada, men and women are equal under the law. Canada’s openness and generosity do not extend to barbaric cultural practices that tolerate spousal abuse, “honour killings,” female genital mutilation, forced marriage or other gender-based violence. Those guilty of these crimes are severely punished under Canada’s criminal laws.
This got me thinking that in fact there IS a place for commenting on cultural practices and apparently the place is a Canadian immigration handbook. For real though, as much as I really struggle with the idea of judging cultural practices, it did warm my heart that my government knows where they draw the line. And I love this line. I feel good about being on the Canadian side of this line. I only hope my government doesn't attempt to redraw this line (and put abortion on the other side), but more on that later. Maybe. The point is that in this moment I am glad there are people who do see the importance of not accepting all human behaviour, and instead stating quite clearly that certain behaviours or practices are completely unacceptable. Two points human rights! (Human rights had to get two points or it would have been a tie with open-mindedness and I feel like that would have been a really anticlimactic way to end for first blog series.)
Now if we could only get God outta the national anthem. Just kidding. Kinda.
In Canada, men and women are equal under the law. Canada’s openness and generosity do not extend to barbaric cultural practices that tolerate spousal abuse, “honour killings,” female genital mutilation, forced marriage or other gender-based violence. Those guilty of these crimes are severely punished under Canada’s criminal laws.
This got me thinking that in fact there IS a place for commenting on cultural practices and apparently the place is a Canadian immigration handbook. For real though, as much as I really struggle with the idea of judging cultural practices, it did warm my heart that my government knows where they draw the line. And I love this line. I feel good about being on the Canadian side of this line. I only hope my government doesn't attempt to redraw this line (and put abortion on the other side), but more on that later. Maybe. The point is that in this moment I am glad there are people who do see the importance of not accepting all human behaviour, and instead stating quite clearly that certain behaviours or practices are completely unacceptable. Two points human rights! (Human rights had to get two points or it would have been a tie with open-mindedness and I feel like that would have been a really anticlimactic way to end for first blog series.)
Now if we could only get God outta the national anthem. Just kidding. Kinda.
Saturday 3 November 2012
What is Argo?
If you want a headache, a sore stomach, and to experience a high level of anxiety for two hours, go and see Fargo, I mean Argo.
I wish I had something super interesting to say about this film, but I don't. However, there were three worthwhile *kinda quotes that happened around the film.
*Kinda Quotes are things that someone sorta said. They are altered either because I can't remember what was said exactly or because a slight re-imagining makes them more interesting.
1. After telling a friend I was going to see this movie he commented, "That movie is in the Oscar race. Doesn't sound like your kinda movie." (To be clear, he was trying to zip me.)
2. Me to my movie friend after about ten minutes in, "I think this movie is too smart for me."
3. My movie friend's response, "No it's not! Um, why did the ________ do the ___________?" (She was asking a clarifying question. I blanked out key words as I don't know them and also as to not spoil the film.)
Just to clarify, I'm not saying the movie wasn't super good, super engaging, really intense, well directed (I think), well acted, etc. etc. I AM. It's just that there are probably way more qualified people who have already written way insightful reviews. Check them out. I have another Christmas post to write.
I wish I had something super interesting to say about this film, but I don't. However, there were three worthwhile *kinda quotes that happened around the film.
*Kinda Quotes are things that someone sorta said. They are altered either because I can't remember what was said exactly or because a slight re-imagining makes them more interesting.
1. After telling a friend I was going to see this movie he commented, "That movie is in the Oscar race. Doesn't sound like your kinda movie." (To be clear, he was trying to zip me.)
2. Me to my movie friend after about ten minutes in, "I think this movie is too smart for me."
3. My movie friend's response, "No it's not! Um, why did the ________ do the ___________?" (She was asking a clarifying question. I blanked out key words as I don't know them and also as to not spoil the film.)
Just to clarify, I'm not saying the movie wasn't super good, super engaging, really intense, well directed (I think), well acted, etc. etc. I AM. It's just that there are probably way more qualified people who have already written way insightful reviews. Check them out. I have another Christmas post to write.
Peace, love, and drawing the line PART ONE
What made me think:
I am a high school teacher, and in the past when I taught about certain issues I would expect strong negative reactions. Well, what I have learned is that students seem far more open minded than I thought they would be. For example, when discussing polygamy I expected students to think it was wrong. The funny thing is that when they didn't (which was inevitably the case) I was disappointed. What is even funnier than that is that one of the first things I taught in that class was the dangers of ethnocentrism (the belief that what is normal in one's own culture should be normal everywhere). So, you would think that I would be really happy with my students for not harshly judging a different cultural practice. One point open-mindedness! So, why was I disappointed? Because I believe that certain cultural practices are wrong, and I was DISAPPOINTED when students did not see it the same way. (Don't worry, I play it totally cool in class.) So, does the fact that I negatively judge other people's practices make me ethnocentric? Judgemental? Snobby? Closed minded?
*Please note that even saying that I think some cultural practices are wrong does make me slightly uncomfortable.
What I think:
NO. In fact, it may make me thoughtful, critical, and humanistic, and for me it most definitely makes me a feminist.
NO. In fact, it may make me thoughtful, critical, and humanistic, and for me it most definitely makes me a feminist.
(Of course I would say that, I mean I am talking about myself. But let me explain.)
If there were a cultural practice of murdering babies (oh oops, there is) I think it is pretty safe to say that is not ok. If there were a practice of cutting off people's arms for fun, again, not cool. These of course are pretty extreme examples, although the first was accidentally realistic. What gets trickier is when the practice is a little less clear cut. What about eating cat? Refusing birth control? Female genital mutilation? Honour killings? (Male) circumcision? Polygamy? Etc. Etc. Etc. Well, I honestly believe in my heart of hearts that saying something is ok, or even remaining indifferent towards something because it is a cultural practice is intellectually lazy. What I often heard from students was something along the lines of, "Well, I wouldn't do it, but if they want to it is their right." I think this is a great idea when looking at super weird (to me) food different people enjoy, or clothes that people wear that seem strange, but what about when it comes to how people are treated? Do we, as humans, have a right and perhaps even a responsibility to judge the practices of others? If it is culturally normal or acceptable to stone a woman to death because she claims she was raped but cannot prove it and therefore the sex is merely adulterous, should we (you and I) not be asking ourselves if this is ok? I think (hope) the answer to that is pretty clear.
Why it's tricky:
The problem is that assuming we will agree that the above example is wrong also assumes that we agree that rape exists conceptually, that a woman does have the right to decide whether she does or does not want to have sex. This is where things get really tricky, as morality seems to be almost purely subjective. Assuming that everything you learned from agents of socialization is true and good is foolish at best, so how do you decide what is RIGHT? Well, perhaps this is the way faith comes into my life. I have faith that if I listen to my heart and the hearts of others, that what is right will become clear.
I think there are two key questions you can ask yourself to determine if you are being ethnocentric or healthily critical.
1. Does the practice in question harm someone?
2. Can you think of aspects of your own culture that you question? (For example, high heels. Really? They hurt. Anyone who says they don't is lying. Are women still causing themselves physical pain in order to look more sexually appealing for men? Yes, they (I mean WE...'cause I do it too) still are.
So, the point of all this is to say please try to create peace and love in your world but also think about where you draw the line. Not everything is ok, and pretending (or believing) it is ignores, minimizes or accepts some of the very terrible things that go on in this big blue and green world.
Why it's tricky:
The problem is that assuming we will agree that the above example is wrong also assumes that we agree that rape exists conceptually, that a woman does have the right to decide whether she does or does not want to have sex. This is where things get really tricky, as morality seems to be almost purely subjective. Assuming that everything you learned from agents of socialization is true and good is foolish at best, so how do you decide what is RIGHT? Well, perhaps this is the way faith comes into my life. I have faith that if I listen to my heart and the hearts of others, that what is right will become clear.
I think there are two key questions you can ask yourself to determine if you are being ethnocentric or healthily critical.
1. Does the practice in question harm someone?
2. Can you think of aspects of your own culture that you question? (For example, high heels. Really? They hurt. Anyone who says they don't is lying. Are women still causing themselves physical pain in order to look more sexually appealing for men? Yes, they (I mean WE...'cause I do it too) still are.
So, the point of all this is to say please try to create peace and love in your world but also think about where you draw the line. Not everything is ok, and pretending (or believing) it is ignores, minimizes or accepts some of the very terrible things that go on in this big blue and green world.
Wednesday 31 October 2012
Hit Me Christmas One More Time: An Ode to Britney and Christmas
Come Here Santa One More Time
(To the tune of Britney's breakout hit: Hit Me Baby One More Time)
Oh Christmas, Christmas
Oh Christmas, Christmas
Oh Christmas Christmas I really do love you so
Because of the traditions
Oh Christmas Christmas you bring so much joy to me
And everyone I know yeah
Carols, stockings, movies, puzzles
Christmas trees, elves, how I love it all now
Oh because
My Christmas spirit is filling me
(And I)
I must confess, I still believe
(In Santa)
When it's not Christmas I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Come here Santa one more time
Oh Christmas, Christmas, the reason I bake is you
Oh you've got me eating
Oh Special Christmas, there's nothin' I wouldn't do
To share the Yuletide feeling
Chocolate cherries, Toffifee, Mint SmoothiesCandy canes and Terry's Chocolate OrangeOh so good
(To the tune of Britney's breakout hit: Hit Me Baby One More Time)
Oh Christmas, Christmas
Oh Christmas, Christmas
Oh Christmas Christmas I really do love you so
Because of the traditions
Oh Christmas Christmas you bring so much joy to me
And everyone I know yeah
Carols, stockings, movies, puzzles
Christmas trees, elves, how I love it all now
Oh because
My Christmas spirit is filling me
(And I)
I must confess, I still believe
(In Santa)
When it's not Christmas I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Come here Santa one more time
Oh Christmas, Christmas, the reason I bake is you
Oh you've got me eating
Oh Special Christmas, there's nothin' I wouldn't do
To share the Yuletide feeling
Chocolate cherries, Toffifee, Mint SmoothiesCandy canes and Terry's Chocolate OrangeOh so good
My Christmas spirit is filling me
(And I)
I must confess, I still believe
(In Santa)
When it's not Christmas I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Come here Santa one more time
Why have a blog?
Ok, so I have been thinking. First off, how many entries have started with the word 'ok?' Too many, I think. So, as I said, I have been thinking about why I have this blog and if it is something I should continue. Well, I have the blog for a hobby, to get myself thinking in depth about things, to connect with people, to celebrate JOYful things, to improve my proof reading (although not just yet) and hopefully to have some people challenge me on some of the things (or all of the things) I write about.
Writing the above paragraph made me realize that of COURSE I should continue. I mean, look at all the really great reasons I listed!! So, I have decided that I need to organize things a little and that from now on my posts will fall under one of five categories:
1. Joyful things
2. Books and movies I read or saw that you should or shouldn't see (category title still in the works)
3. Femfabulous
4. Thinky thinks
5. I'm sure another category will appear
Please keep in mind that I may never figure out how to do this. But, hey, anything is possible.
Monday 29 October 2012
#7: The story of zip
So, it is a good thing I went back to re-read (and edit slightly) my first post, because it reminded me that I promised to tell you the story of how zip came into my vernacular.
My dear brother used to always say 'snap' if someone in our family made light hearted fun of someone else. I am sure he did this with his friends as well, but I can't say for sure because I just wasn't there. So, my brother would also accompany 'snap' by a hand gesture that mimed snapping a twig (or something) in half. So, one day when my whole family was home for some reason, someone made a little jab at someone else to which my dad responded, "Oh, zip!" accompanied by a zipping hand motion. You see, he was copying my brother, but my dad just didn't get it right. That was four or five years ago and since then 'zip' had been used almost daily by me and at least one friend. It certainly isn't well on its way to common use, but is definitely overly used by me. Adopt it if you wish.
My dear brother used to always say 'snap' if someone in our family made light hearted fun of someone else. I am sure he did this with his friends as well, but I can't say for sure because I just wasn't there. So, my brother would also accompany 'snap' by a hand gesture that mimed snapping a twig (or something) in half. So, one day when my whole family was home for some reason, someone made a little jab at someone else to which my dad responded, "Oh, zip!" accompanied by a zipping hand motion. You see, he was copying my brother, but my dad just didn't get it right. That was four or five years ago and since then 'zip' had been used almost daily by me and at least one friend. It certainly isn't well on its way to common use, but is definitely overly used by me. Adopt it if you wish.
Sunday 28 October 2012
When is too early?
Ok, Ok. I know I promised a super interesting post about ethnocentrism and stuff, but I really can't get IT outta my mind. What is this IT that has me singing, hoping, planning, listing, dreaming, searching and waiting? IT is a very special something that warms me through and through. IT makes my heart sing and dance (seriously). IT gets me thinking about all the people I love, and IT brings all those people together (at different times). And IT also gets me thinking about all my favourite foods and of how fun it will be to make them. Um, ya, IT also gets me thinking about myself and all the things I want. IT gets me shopping and spending money on people who need nothing. Ok, so if you don't know I'm talking about Christmas, then maybe you should find a new blog (oh, zip!). Just joking. Don't go, I need you!! So, it is probably pretty obvious as well that my attempt to show the negatives of Christmas is weak at best. So, here is:
I FREAKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!
I love EVERYTHING about it. The things others hate like family gatherings that never work out and crowded malls? Well, love those, too. So, why is this blog-post-worthy? I'm pretty sure it isn't. But, the thing you have to know about me is that September and October are all about waiting for November 1st so that I can start Christmas stuff. What 'Christmas Stuff' are we talking about? Well, carols (of course), Christmas puzzles, Christmas movies (minimum one per week), Christmas baking (minimum one kind per week), Christmas shopping, and Christmas decorating. I already have a my Christmas shopping list completed (although I am sure I will add more) and it has taken a lot of will power to not start buying just yet. I know what I am making for Christmas dinner dessert (a pumpkin merengue pie with ginger snap crust) and every night consider all the options for Christmas dinner sides.
So, all I ask of you, my two followers, is that you tell me your favourite Christmas carol, your favourite Christmas movie and maybe even the best present you ever got!
Now, if Christmas is not for you because of family issues, money issues, or religious stuff, please know that for me Christmas is about one thing: Joy. Feeling it myself and sharing it with others.
So, Joy to the World, and let Christmas 2012 (almost) begin.
I FREAKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!
I love EVERYTHING about it. The things others hate like family gatherings that never work out and crowded malls? Well, love those, too. So, why is this blog-post-worthy? I'm pretty sure it isn't. But, the thing you have to know about me is that September and October are all about waiting for November 1st so that I can start Christmas stuff. What 'Christmas Stuff' are we talking about? Well, carols (of course), Christmas puzzles, Christmas movies (minimum one per week), Christmas baking (minimum one kind per week), Christmas shopping, and Christmas decorating. I already have a my Christmas shopping list completed (although I am sure I will add more) and it has taken a lot of will power to not start buying just yet. I know what I am making for Christmas dinner dessert (a pumpkin merengue pie with ginger snap crust) and every night consider all the options for Christmas dinner sides.
So, all I ask of you, my two followers, is that you tell me your favourite Christmas carol, your favourite Christmas movie and maybe even the best present you ever got!
Now, if Christmas is not for you because of family issues, money issues, or religious stuff, please know that for me Christmas is about one thing: Joy. Feeling it myself and sharing it with others.
So, Joy to the World, and let Christmas 2012 (almost) begin.
Friday 26 October 2012
Looper: See it now or in the future.
**I have found since beginning this blog that I look at things in my everyday life a little bit differently. I read or hear about something and think, that's interesting. But then I ask myself if it is interesting ENOUGH to be blog worthy. This is great because it means that I spend more time thinking about and reflecting on things than I did before. This, in itself, makes this whole blog worth it!!
So, for today I simply must review the movie Blooper. (Ok, so I have proofread this about 5 times and just realized I said Blooper instead of Looper. Considering it is the only funny thing in this post, I couldn't resist leaving it. Because, you know, I made a blooper. Ok that is not quite how you should use the word, but come on.) I saw it. I loved it. If you have not yet seen the film, do not worry. There are no spoilers until it says SPOILER ALERT. I would never risk ruining a movie for you!
Before you read my review, you should be aware of my credentials. I have taken one film class (History of Film). I went to very few lectures and slept through the ones I attended. I have watched lots of movies, most of which I thoroughly enjoyed. I didn't get Citizen Cain. I am known by many friends to have low standards in movies and television shows. I recently watched all eight seasons of Monk and all twelve seasons of Murder She Wrote. There it is.
Blooper: See it now or in the future.
4.7 stars
The Gist: Old Joe is sent back in time by the future mob to be killed by a hit-man from the past. The twist, as shown in the previews, is that the hit-man from the past is Joe himself.
Why I loved this film:
1. The preview looked interesting, but the film was way better than the preview lead me to believe it would be. Often times, the trailers of films are better than the films themselves, or the best parts of the film are in the trailer. This is not the case with this movie.
2. It was not predictable.
a. The story line did not follow a predictable path. Many movies are predictable. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it can make watching a movie kinda cozy because since you know what is going to happen, you can just relax and enjoy. Looper could not have been further from this. I really had no idea what was going to happen at any point at all. I loved this because it kept me engaged in the film because my mind was always working to try to figure out what was going to happen.
b. The shocking moments were CRAZY shocking. Even when a twist happens in a movie I'm watching, once it settles in I usually think, "Oh yeah, I can see that." I spent a large part of this film with my mouth agape because I was could not f-ing believe what had happened. Seriously shocking.
3. It was subtle. Maybe I've been watching to much MSW, but usually when there is some little tidbit that will be REALLY important to the plot later on (someone being left-handed or something) it screams 'I'm here because I will matter big time later!!!' Many aspects of the story that would be of crucial importance later on were woven seamlessly into the story. These tidbits didn't jump out and act as a clue as to where the story was going.
4. It made me think, but not about time travel. In movies that have a schtick like time travel, the best you can usually hope for is to leave thinking about time travel. This is not the case with Looper. Although there are some interesting ideas around time travel, I left thinking about bigger life issues like love (and not in a cliche way), sacrifice, age and personal growth, and responsibility.
SPOILER ALERT: It's down a little, so don't scroll down if you have not seen the movie.
1. Can you believe old Joe killed that kid??!!?!?!? I am still in total shock. I think it was brilliant because it was so unexpected and it helped begin to shift viewer loyalty from old Joe to young Joe. Also, the fact that they did not actually show it I also think was super smart because I think that would have been TOO much.
2. My FAV thing: One of the things I loved the most was that what saved the day (so to speak) was love from a parent for her child. So often in movies great change happens or the protagonist is 'saved' because of romantic love. In Looper it seemed like that was going to be the case when it was revealed that old Joe was deeply in love. Then when young Joe met the Emily Blunt character I assumed (as I think many people would) that they would have a romantic story line and that this would be crucial, as well. Although these relationships were part of the story, they were not really what mattered. After young Joe realizes what Cid is capable of he confronts Sara (Blunt's character). She responds by telling him that she thinks she can make Cid good. What in the end saves the future (at least the future Joe would have experienced) is his realization that perhaps Sara can in fact love Cid into goodness instead of evil.
*Please keep in mind that I am a new mother, and so it is quite likely that I am seeing greater weight in this whole mommy thing than others would.
#4: You are not the boss of me
Ok people. One thing about being a feminist is that people think you are angry even when you aren't. Well, right now I AM angry. Fuming angry. Well, ok, not THAT angry. But let me tell you I certainly was when THIS happened:
So, I am in a local coffee shop to meet a friend. I had borrowed a cell phone in case I missed my friend, which is exactly what happened. I was standing at the front of the coffee shop sending a text to confirm that I had in fact missed her when Nosy McBossypants came in. In short, he told me that I should get in line, that I shouldn't be texting and that he didn't even have "one of those." My response? "Neither do I."
So, why am I super angry? I'll tell you why. I'll type ALL about it. But before I do, I want to share another story:
I go into a variety store to get my husband a coke and some chips (because I am a nice wife) and I decide to get a Joe Louis for myself because I love treats (hence the name, remember?). As I try to pay the cashier informs me, in a very concerned manner, that I shouldn't be eating such unhealthy food, that it is not good for me, and that I should be careful.
So, I am angry because I believe that I experienced both of these events because I AM A WOMAN. If you are a man please ask yourself how often some stranger tells you what you should or should not be doing. If you are a woman, chances are you have experienced something similar. My husband went into that variety store dozens of times and never ONCE did this man say ANYTHING to him about how he should watch what he eats. These situations demonstrate the power imbalances that still exist in Canadian society. Men believe that they have the right to speak to women in a way that they would not speak to men. In a way that implies that a man knows what is better for a woman than she knows herself. What will make this behaviour so difficult to change is that I suspect (and my personal experiences have confirmed this) that men who speak to women like this are doing so completely without malice. They may even be doing it out of caring. The behaviour itself may not even seem like a big deal. You may even think I am being a little touch on the crazy side for making such a big deal out of something soharmless. Well, it isn't harmless. These instances undermine me (and other women) as intelligent, independent human beings who can and should make our own choices. So, the next time you are giving unsolicited advice to a woman, (kinda like I am doing now --see, I just zipped myself) ask yourself if you would do the same thing if you were speaking to a man.
NEXT TIME ON SUE TREAT: How can you tell the difference between a cultural practice and a human rights violation? Is there such a thing as being too tolerant?
So, I am in a local coffee shop to meet a friend. I had borrowed a cell phone in case I missed my friend, which is exactly what happened. I was standing at the front of the coffee shop sending a text to confirm that I had in fact missed her when Nosy McBossypants came in. In short, he told me that I should get in line, that I shouldn't be texting and that he didn't even have "one of those." My response? "Neither do I."
So, why am I super angry? I'll tell you why. I'll type ALL about it. But before I do, I want to share another story:
I go into a variety store to get my husband a coke and some chips (because I am a nice wife) and I decide to get a Joe Louis for myself because I love treats (hence the name, remember?). As I try to pay the cashier informs me, in a very concerned manner, that I shouldn't be eating such unhealthy food, that it is not good for me, and that I should be careful.
So, I am angry because I believe that I experienced both of these events because I AM A WOMAN. If you are a man please ask yourself how often some stranger tells you what you should or should not be doing. If you are a woman, chances are you have experienced something similar. My husband went into that variety store dozens of times and never ONCE did this man say ANYTHING to him about how he should watch what he eats. These situations demonstrate the power imbalances that still exist in Canadian society. Men believe that they have the right to speak to women in a way that they would not speak to men. In a way that implies that a man knows what is better for a woman than she knows herself. What will make this behaviour so difficult to change is that I suspect (and my personal experiences have confirmed this) that men who speak to women like this are doing so completely without malice. They may even be doing it out of caring. The behaviour itself may not even seem like a big deal. You may even think I am being a little touch on the crazy side for making such a big deal out of something soharmless. Well, it isn't harmless. These instances undermine me (and other women) as intelligent, independent human beings who can and should make our own choices. So, the next time you are giving unsolicited advice to a woman, (kinda like I am doing now --see, I just zipped myself) ask yourself if you would do the same thing if you were speaking to a man.
NEXT TIME ON SUE TREAT: How can you tell the difference between a cultural practice and a human rights violation? Is there such a thing as being too tolerant?
Tuesday 23 October 2012
#3: Sue Who?
Although I had instituted a strict one post per day rule, I have had hundreds of requests to fill in my dedicated readers as to why I am using the pseudonym 'Sue Treat.' To begin though, I should tell you why I feel the need to use a pseudonym in the first place.
I am a teacher and strongly believe that the personal lives of teachers should be inaccessible to students. Not that I plan on having any followers, but I did not want a student to be able to simply Google my name and find this blog. Not using my name means that I can truly say 'what I want, when I want' which is the whole dang purpose of this blog.
So, why Sue Treat you ask? (Because you did ask.) This may well be one of those things that was hilarious when it happened only, so be prepared. As soon as I got the amazing idea to start a blog I messaged a friend to tell him. I don't remember what I said exactly (although one day I will publish the entire conversation here for your reading pleasure), but I knew I wanted to use a pseudonym. As you all know, I am a terrible speller, so when I attempted to spell pseudonym without much thought (because I really think I could have gotten it if only I had tried a little harder) it autocorrected to SUE TREAT. Yep. That's what happened. So, I loved it because it sounds kinda like a name, AND, again, this will be no surprise to my nearest and dearest, I LOVE TREATS!!! How perfect is that!?! So, there is the story of Sue Treat, blogger extraordinaire.
I am a teacher and strongly believe that the personal lives of teachers should be inaccessible to students. Not that I plan on having any followers, but I did not want a student to be able to simply Google my name and find this blog. Not using my name means that I can truly say 'what I want, when I want' which is the whole dang purpose of this blog.
So, why Sue Treat you ask? (Because you did ask.) This may well be one of those things that was hilarious when it happened only, so be prepared. As soon as I got the amazing idea to start a blog I messaged a friend to tell him. I don't remember what I said exactly (although one day I will publish the entire conversation here for your reading pleasure), but I knew I wanted to use a pseudonym. As you all know, I am a terrible speller, so when I attempted to spell pseudonym without much thought (because I really think I could have gotten it if only I had tried a little harder) it autocorrected to SUE TREAT. Yep. That's what happened. So, I loved it because it sounds kinda like a name, AND, again, this will be no surprise to my nearest and dearest, I LOVE TREATS!!! How perfect is that!?! So, there is the story of Sue Treat, blogger extraordinaire.
Monday 22 October 2012
#2: What moms say matter, too!
Well, although no comments have been made as yet, my blog seems to have received rave reviews. Seriously. My only conundrum is what to discuss next! I listed some possible topics in entry number one, but since then remembered two more things I wanted to discuss. The first is the show "Once Upon a Time" which I started watching thanks to a recommendation from a friend who has great taste. (I hope again I have piqued your interest. Notice the correct spelling? I am a life-long learner.) The second, I think I will tackle right now.
So, I am a mom. Super weird, I know, but true none the less. While I was pregnant I told people (probably you) that I would not become 'one of those moms' who talked about her kids all the time. I thought about getting a subscription to "Psychology Today" or something, to keep me sharp and to provide talking points during adult conversations.
Well, let me tell you, I look back on these thoughts with great shame. I remember a conversation I had with an inspirational feminist during a late night 'study' session at my university residence in which she talked to me about how the art men produce is highly valued, but the artistic things that are primarily made by women are often not considered 'art', but rather 'crafts.' The label given to these women-made things devalues them.
This is how I feel about the conversations that seem natural to someone (usually a woman, and certainly historically almost always a woman) who is at home with a child. It is absolutely ludicrous to think that what you do 20 hours a day is something that should not be discussed. I mean seriously people, who came up with this generally accepted idea that conversations about kids are boring and somehow wrong? I mean, I've been there, bored, when someone is going on and on about something super uninteresting his or her kid has done. But I am no more bored than when someone goes on and on about something super boring they did at work!! However, you don't hear people complaining about how people talk about work all the time. Of course they do!! It is what they do!! I argue that the reason people still feel comfortable minimizing, putting down, devaluing, and dismissing conversations around parenting and children, is because these conversations have typically been of the world of women, and let's face it three readers, things women generally do don't naturally garner (hope I'm using that correctly) respect. *Patrarchy, I mean patriarchy be damned!!! How have you weaselled your way in to every aspect of my life?
So, I say, talk proudly and confidently about your life as a parent. When you start to see people's eyes glazing over (as I usually do when someone asks me about my life as a parent) just know that they are not as enlightened as you, and that they are propagating a paradigm where what women say and do is not valued. Once you are done talking about your family and your day, ask them what they have done lately to further gender equality and take solace in the fact that just by talking about your very valuable life and life experiences with pride and not shame you have already done this.
*If you don't know the origin or the word patrachy and would like to, just let me know. It might be worth it.
P.S. Having a blog is everything I hoped it would be! You should try it. I promise, I will follow you if you do!
So, I am a mom. Super weird, I know, but true none the less. While I was pregnant I told people (probably you) that I would not become 'one of those moms' who talked about her kids all the time. I thought about getting a subscription to "Psychology Today" or something, to keep me sharp and to provide talking points during adult conversations.
Well, let me tell you, I look back on these thoughts with great shame. I remember a conversation I had with an inspirational feminist during a late night 'study' session at my university residence in which she talked to me about how the art men produce is highly valued, but the artistic things that are primarily made by women are often not considered 'art', but rather 'crafts.' The label given to these women-made things devalues them.
This is how I feel about the conversations that seem natural to someone (usually a woman, and certainly historically almost always a woman) who is at home with a child. It is absolutely ludicrous to think that what you do 20 hours a day is something that should not be discussed. I mean seriously people, who came up with this generally accepted idea that conversations about kids are boring and somehow wrong? I mean, I've been there, bored, when someone is going on and on about something super uninteresting his or her kid has done. But I am no more bored than when someone goes on and on about something super boring they did at work!! However, you don't hear people complaining about how people talk about work all the time. Of course they do!! It is what they do!! I argue that the reason people still feel comfortable minimizing, putting down, devaluing, and dismissing conversations around parenting and children, is because these conversations have typically been of the world of women, and let's face it three readers, things women generally do don't naturally garner (hope I'm using that correctly) respect. *Patrarchy, I mean patriarchy be damned!!! How have you weaselled your way in to every aspect of my life?
So, I say, talk proudly and confidently about your life as a parent. When you start to see people's eyes glazing over (as I usually do when someone asks me about my life as a parent) just know that they are not as enlightened as you, and that they are propagating a paradigm where what women say and do is not valued. Once you are done talking about your family and your day, ask them what they have done lately to further gender equality and take solace in the fact that just by talking about your very valuable life and life experiences with pride and not shame you have already done this.
*If you don't know the origin or the word patrachy and would like to, just let me know. It might be worth it.
P.S. Having a blog is everything I hoped it would be! You should try it. I promise, I will follow you if you do!
Sunday 21 October 2012
My first blog entry
Well, I've become a blogger. Or at least that is the plan. Why? Well, I am off work on a maternity leave, and one day I was trying to find something to do. I had played one million games of Spider Solitaire, checked my email a bunch, and had read the news. However, I still needed something to do, so I decided to read a blog. Well, I am not a very Internet capable person, so I didn't really know how to find a blog to read. Instead, I decided to write one. I decided it would be a great thing for me to do. A new fun hobby! If you are here reading this, there are some things I would like you to keep in mind:
1. I am sleep deprived and have no attention to detail, so will likely make many spelling and grammar errors. Who cares!
2. This is for fun. I plan on talking about things that interest me when I feel like writing about them.
3. The only people likely to read this are my close friends and family, so hi Besties!!
4. In order to understand this blog you will need to understand what 'zip' means. It can be used in place of saying 'snap.' If you don't know what that means, go back to 2003 and find out. Oh, zip!!!
Just to pique your interest, the next few blogs will be about how zip came about, why my pseudonym is Sue Treat, why I have a pseudonym (least interesting so far), and a dynamic and insightful (that was my fourth attempt to spell insightful, the first one looked like this: inciteful) review of the movie Looper.
The last thing you should know (although since you are one of my besties you already know this) is that I love books, movies, being a feminist and current events (ok, the current events thing is to try to add depth to my personality), and this is what this blog will include.
Enjoy!
1. I am sleep deprived and have no attention to detail, so will likely make many spelling and grammar errors. Who cares!
2. This is for fun. I plan on talking about things that interest me when I feel like writing about them.
3. The only people likely to read this are my close friends and family, so hi Besties!!
4. In order to understand this blog you will need to understand what 'zip' means. It can be used in place of saying 'snap.' If you don't know what that means, go back to 2003 and find out. Oh, zip!!!
Just to pique your interest, the next few blogs will be about how zip came about, why my pseudonym is Sue Treat, why I have a pseudonym (least interesting so far), and a dynamic and insightful (that was my fourth attempt to spell insightful, the first one looked like this: inciteful) review of the movie Looper.
The last thing you should know (although since you are one of my besties you already know this) is that I love books, movies, being a feminist and current events (ok, the current events thing is to try to add depth to my personality), and this is what this blog will include.
Enjoy!
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