#4: You are not the boss of me

Ok people.  One thing about being a feminist is that people think you are angry even when you aren't.  Well, right now I AM angry.  Fuming angry.  Well, ok, not THAT angry.  But let me tell you I certainly was when THIS happened:

So, I am in a local coffee shop to meet a friend.  I had borrowed a cell phone in case I missed my friend, which is exactly what happened.  I was standing at the front of the coffee shop sending a text to confirm that I had in fact missed her when Nosy McBossypants came in.  In short, he told me that I should get in line, that I shouldn't be texting and that he didn't even have "one of those."  My response?  "Neither do I."

So, why am I super angry?  I'll tell you why.  I'll type ALL about it.  But before I do, I want to share another story:

I go into a variety store to get my husband a coke and some chips (because I am a nice wife) and I decide to get a Joe Louis for myself because I love treats (hence the name, remember?).  As I try to pay the cashier informs me, in a very concerned manner, that I shouldn't be eating such unhealthy food, that it is not good for me, and that I should be careful.

So, I am angry because I believe that I experienced both of these events because I AM A WOMAN.  If you are a man please ask yourself how often some stranger tells you what you should or should not be doing.  If you are a woman, chances are you have experienced something similar.  My husband went into that variety store dozens of times and never ONCE did this man say ANYTHING to him about how he should watch what he eats.  These situations demonstrate the power imbalances that still exist in Canadian society.   Men believe that they have the right to speak to women in a way that they would not speak to men.  In a way that implies that a man knows what is better for a woman than she knows herself.  What will make this behaviour so difficult to change is that I suspect (and my personal experiences have confirmed this) that men who speak to women like this are doing so completely without malice.  They may even be doing it out of caring.  The behaviour itself may not even seem like a big deal.  You may even think I am being a little touch on the crazy side for making such a big deal out of something soharmless.  Well, it isn't harmless.  These instances undermine me (and other women) as intelligent, independent human beings who can and should make our own choices.  So, the next time you are giving unsolicited advice to a woman, (kinda like I am doing now --see, I just zipped myself) ask yourself if you would do the same thing if you were speaking to a man.

NEXT TIME ON SUE TREAT:  How can you tell the difference between a cultural practice and a human rights violation?  Is there such a thing as being too tolerant?