You know the saying that goes something like, "If you love someone you should let them go"? Well, that should be amended to say, "If you love someone you should let them go at least once a week."
Here's my story:
I love being a mom, but the last few weeks I have been feeling a little bit funny. Let's be honest, by 'a little bit funny' I mean a little bit down. Finally, I had a teary breakdown. My husband decided (with love in his heart) that I needed to get away for an afternoon. This made me cry more. My husband said to me, "Are you sad that you are leaving her or sad that you WANT to leave her?" When I nodded to the second through my sobbing he replied, "Good." And it hit me. Of course it is good!! It is absolutely crazy to want to be with anyone (even a perfect, little babe) ALL THE TIME.
The danger of motherhood, is that you ARE. With someone all the time that is. At least for the beginning. And that is a lot. The true danger I would say though, is that you can very easily feel as though you should want this, and if you don't you might feel guilty. Well, I am here to tell you, from one primary caregiver to another, that getting outta dodge is AMAZING. One movie and a little shopping later I felt rejuvenated. This made me realize that getting away from being a mom is a crucial part of being a good mom. Bu-ya (or however you spell that). There it is.
Have you seen the children's book 'Five Minutes Peace' by Jill Murphy? It sums up the frustration that you and all mothers feel about never being alone. It inspired the sacred rule in our house: No one is allowed to knock on the door if Mom is in the bathtub. Check it out!
ReplyDeleteAnd since you seem to have somewhat of a penchant for the surreal, I'm going to confess what I did the very first evening I left my baby with someone who wasn't a relative. We lived in a big city and had no family nearby. All of our friends were going to be at the same party we wanted to attend, and there were no known babysitters to spare. So, my husband and I called a babysitting service.
A woman resembling a faded 40's movie star came over. She smelled like she smoked. When she saw my (admittedly big) curly perm she said, "I like your wig". In reaction to my dress she said, "No one knows this, but I was the one who brought stripes back into style". We hesitated briefly, then left our child with her and went out!
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ReplyDeleteFTR it's booya, like you're scaring someone and it's awesome.
ReplyDeleteOf course primary caregivers are essential, but I've always thought my kids have benifited from time spent with others.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
DeleteThank you for your response. After re-reading my posting I kinda wanted to say "Duh" to myself. What a great reminder that this blog is for me much more than it is for anyone else.