As I look out my window I can't help but wish it were December. Snow is so much more enjoyable when it is BEFORE Christmas (especially when the aforementioned snow is occurring post March Break). These thoughts got me thinking back to Christmas 2012. For me the lead up to Christmas can often be more enjoyable than the big day. This year was complicated in that some of my immediate family were not speaking or seeing each other. Also, it was the first year with an in-demand-super-popular-baby. This meant that there was disappointment on the side of my in-laws for not being with them Christmas day and that Christmas day was divided into two in order to see different family members who did not want to see each other.
The pont? It was all a little too much and not what I wanted. Not what was best or most enjoyable for me or for my family. I don't want this. I want to have a perfectly joyful December 25th (or other day on which I am celebrating!). But before I can have the prefect Christmas Day I have to know what that means to me.
The lesson in all of this is that perhaps I should spend some time THINKING. Perhaps we all get so caught up in the shoulds of the holidays that we forget the coulds. And I think Christmas COULD be wonderful if I chose to make it that way.
So, off I go to imagine the Christmas of my dreams....
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Monday, 18 March 2013
A world without sleep...
The most difficult thing about being sleep deprived is the self doubt to which it leads. I mean, if I can't use adverbs properly, remember any words at all, or form complete sentences, how can I trust my emotions? Especially because for me emotions are so closely linked to sleep.
When my husband and I disagree and he looks at me like I'm off my rocker, is it because a) I'm off my rocker, b) my husband only thinks I'm off my rocker when really I am making total sense or...I just had three points and now I can't fucking remember the last one. Man it is hard to be witty when you are really fucking tired.
The scarier thing yet (for me) is what if I wasn't experiencing self doubt? I think it is pretty admirable that I can acknowledge that my brain is not working properly and therefore I might sometimes behave irrationally. But this realization makes it hard for me to trust myself. Hence self doubt. Solution? Have a nap OR stop using adverbs.
Have we all gone crazy?
Why do we (as almost an entire specie) do so many things that make us unhappy? Is it because
a) it is really REALLY hard to be happy
b) we don't know what will make us happy
c) we don't care if we are happy
d) we don't reflect on if we are happy.
For example:
I eat a million pounds of highly processed candy even though I know it is bad for me and in my heart I don't want it (yet even writing about it makes me wish I hadn't eaten everything bad in my house already today!).
I am awake right now typing this even though my eyes are super squinty from exhaustion and I know there is nothing in the world better for me then going to bed.
I watch super scary TV shows (often times out of boredom) even though they scare me and make me feel yucky. ok, they're not that scary, but still.
Why do I do this stuff? Am I crazy? Are YOU?
THE WORST though, is when you know what a perfectly happy beautiful life would look like, but you don't make it happen.
I'm gunna make it happen. I'll let you know how it goes.
a) it is really REALLY hard to be happy
b) we don't know what will make us happy
c) we don't care if we are happy
d) we don't reflect on if we are happy.
For example:
I eat a million pounds of highly processed candy even though I know it is bad for me and in my heart I don't want it (yet even writing about it makes me wish I hadn't eaten everything bad in my house already today!).
I am awake right now typing this even though my eyes are super squinty from exhaustion and I know there is nothing in the world better for me then going to bed.
I watch super scary TV shows (often times out of boredom) even though they scare me and make me feel yucky. ok, they're not that scary, but still.
Why do I do this stuff? Am I crazy? Are YOU?
THE WORST though, is when you know what a perfectly happy beautiful life would look like, but you don't make it happen.
I'm gunna make it happen. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why is different BAD?
No really. Why? This is some mysterious thing that I just don't understand.
Okay, actually I do have a little theory and it goes something like this:
Being normal often means ascribing to social norms. This usually means that someone dresses and acts 'normally.' I think that the ability to pick up on these social cues means that you will perhaps be good at picking up on other social cues (like behaving appropriately in social situations). I have found an anecdotal correlation between looking kinda weird and acting kinda weird. So, being different can perhaps make you a wild card in the sense that people may be unsure of what how you will act. This brings me the a sociological paradigm called Symbolic Interactionism theorizes that our interactions are based on using and responding to symbols. So, perhaps when someone is different they don't use or respond to the same cues we are used to and it makes us normal people (don't you love how I think I am normal?) unsure of how to act or respond and let's be honest, no one likes to feel unsure of her or himself. This discomfort often leads to anger or even hate.
BAM. Problem solved. People who are different make us feel unsure of how to act or respond which makes us feel bad and therefore we turn this negative emotion back on the weirdo and blame them for being different.
Man people! Open your hearts! It is okay if you don't know how to act. Vive something!
Goodnight.
Okay, actually I do have a little theory and it goes something like this:
Being normal often means ascribing to social norms. This usually means that someone dresses and acts 'normally.' I think that the ability to pick up on these social cues means that you will perhaps be good at picking up on other social cues (like behaving appropriately in social situations). I have found an anecdotal correlation between looking kinda weird and acting kinda weird. So, being different can perhaps make you a wild card in the sense that people may be unsure of what how you will act. This brings me the a sociological paradigm called Symbolic Interactionism theorizes that our interactions are based on using and responding to symbols. So, perhaps when someone is different they don't use or respond to the same cues we are used to and it makes us normal people (don't you love how I think I am normal?) unsure of how to act or respond and let's be honest, no one likes to feel unsure of her or himself. This discomfort often leads to anger or even hate.
BAM. Problem solved. People who are different make us feel unsure of how to act or respond which makes us feel bad and therefore we turn this negative emotion back on the weirdo and blame them for being different.
Man people! Open your hearts! It is okay if you don't know how to act. Vive something!
Goodnight.
Saturday, 12 January 2013
The perfect balance doesn't exist or why we shouldn't be so hard on people
I think this is the third time I have attempted starting this post. Since none of the other tries have been successful, I am going to get right to the point.
Balance. Is this the impossible dream? Now, before I really get to the meat and potatoes of this post I simply must acknowledge that this problem (as I experience it) is one of privilege or luck or is a blessing depending on your point of view.
So here we go: I always feel like I can't do everything. The 'everything' in my life includes the following:
1. My Job
2. Maintaining a positive relationship with my husband
3. Meeting social obligations
4. Maintaining positive relationships with friends
5. Exercising
6. Making healthy homemade food
7. Being an awesome mom
8. Having FUN! (now, sometimes this can include any of 1 through 7)
What I have found, especially recently, is that the people in my life are struggling with the same problem. I know someone who does very well at 1, 2, 3 and 5 but not so well with 4 and 6, and this person really never seems to have fun. I know others who really struggle with 5 and 6. I think this is a common problem of people in and around my circle. It might be a problem with everyone, but since I don't know everyone I just can't say for sure.
This is not rocket science or new. Or a new type of rocket science. What is new to me about this struggle to find balance is that even though I cannot find balance, I harshly judge others when they cannot either. For example, I know a couple who is overweight. They never EVER exercise, they buy a lot of pre made foods, and they eat out a lot. But you wanna know something about these people? They are SUPER happy!! They have a great marriage (as far as I can tell), they love their kids, they are passionate about their jobs, they travel together and with their children.
The bottom line for me is that the most important thing in life is to be happy. If eating out or paying someone to make your food allows you to spend more time at your job and with your family, and this makes you happier, DO IT! If spending less time with family and friends so you can work out makes you happier, DO IT!! In short, (and I will say duh to this) DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!! And maybe, just maybe, take it easy on others for not doing what makes YOU happy, because maybe what makes them happy is different.
Sha-Bam.
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Why I'm Glad I'm Not Famous
Every time I get out of a vehicle wearing a skirt, I literally thank the stars above I am not famous, because I know if I were (famous that is) then every time I got out of a vehicle someone would snatch a picture of my, well, snatch. See, I am not very 'lady like' (a phrase I simply abhor), and I cannot be bothered to take an extra 20 minutes getting out of a vehicle just to keep my privates private. So, I look around, and if I am even 40% sure no one is watching I let it all hang out as I get out.
Recently a dear friend directed me to the site feministing.com because of an article on what was then a recent interview between Matt Lauer and Anne Hathaway. Ms. Hathaway was there to discuss her role in Les Miserables, but Mr. Lauer chose to begin the interview asking about a recent incident where her privates were exposed. He knew about this (as did most of the world) because someone took photos and then sold them.
Matt Lauer is a misogynistic dickweed. Maybe I should be embarrassed for not knowing who Matt Lauer is, and maybe I shouldn't make such a snap judgement about someone I don't even remotely know, but when someone says the following to a woman who has been sexually harassed and arguably sexually assaulted, I'm pretty happy to judge them and even happier not to know them. Mr. Lauer said the following:
"Seen a lot of you lately."
AND
"What's the lesson learned from something like that?"
Ok, just to clarify, someone took photos of Anne's downstairs region WITHOUT HER CONENT and then sold them WITHOUT HER CONSENT and then Mr. Lauer had the audacity to blame her and as feministing said SHAME HER? Are you kidding me?
Here is how the interview should have gone (in my super angry opinion):
Matt Lauer: Anne Hathaway, good morning, nice to see you.
Anne Hathaway: Morning Matt.
ML: Before we get started I just wanted to take a minute and tell you how sorry I am that someone has so horribly invaded your privacy. I find it completely disgusting but since it is your business and no one else's, I will finish my comments there. If you have anything you would like to say feel free, otherwise, let's move on to Les Mis.
AH: Thank you for not being a misogynistic dickweed.
THE END.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?
Recently a dear friend directed me to the site feministing.com because of an article on what was then a recent interview between Matt Lauer and Anne Hathaway. Ms. Hathaway was there to discuss her role in Les Miserables, but Mr. Lauer chose to begin the interview asking about a recent incident where her privates were exposed. He knew about this (as did most of the world) because someone took photos and then sold them.
Matt Lauer is a misogynistic dickweed. Maybe I should be embarrassed for not knowing who Matt Lauer is, and maybe I shouldn't make such a snap judgement about someone I don't even remotely know, but when someone says the following to a woman who has been sexually harassed and arguably sexually assaulted, I'm pretty happy to judge them and even happier not to know them. Mr. Lauer said the following:
"Seen a lot of you lately."
AND
"What's the lesson learned from something like that?"
Ok, just to clarify, someone took photos of Anne's downstairs region WITHOUT HER CONENT and then sold them WITHOUT HER CONSENT and then Mr. Lauer had the audacity to blame her and as feministing said SHAME HER? Are you kidding me?
Here is how the interview should have gone (in my super angry opinion):
Matt Lauer: Anne Hathaway, good morning, nice to see you.
Anne Hathaway: Morning Matt.
ML: Before we get started I just wanted to take a minute and tell you how sorry I am that someone has so horribly invaded your privacy. I find it completely disgusting but since it is your business and no one else's, I will finish my comments there. If you have anything you would like to say feel free, otherwise, let's move on to Les Mis.
AH: Thank you for not being a misogynistic dickweed.
THE END.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?
twenty thirwhat?
Hi all. I'm back. Bigger and better than ever, and I thought I should let you know something.
IT IS 2013. Seriously. How the f-word did that happen? I think it'll be a great year. Cheers.
IT IS 2013. Seriously. How the f-word did that happen? I think it'll be a great year. Cheers.
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